.
This post is in response to the Writing 201 challenge.Screens and Haiku.
New at this,so bare with me:)
My First Haiku……
—Screens at home—
Night and day,eyes glued.
Strangers around,
Mom-Dad and brothers few.
05 Monday Oct 2015
Posted Uncategorized
in.
This post is in response to the Writing 201 challenge.Screens and Haiku.
New at this,so bare with me:)
My First Haiku……
—Screens at home—
Night and day,eyes glued.
Strangers around,
Mom-Dad and brothers few.
I see. I write. I feel. I write. I think. I write.
Life - Beautiful
#Snippets,#tech updates,#poetry
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jaminamargarita said:
I can feel the isolation from this, how we get so wrapped up in whatever is on the screen in front of us that the outside world almost no longer exists. Not too shabby for someone unfamiliar with haikus! 🙂
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SabahBatul. said:
Thank you for that.Its really appreciated.Never written a Haiku before.And I am happy that my first try was not all bad 🙂
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Jesse Villarreal said:
“Night and day, eyes glued.” This line reminds me how we live in an age with screens constantly in front of us. This is a great start for a haiku. I remember when I started getting into poetry I challenged myself to write one haiku a day. You should try it too.
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SabahBatul. said:
Thank you for the advice,and yes if I want to get better at this,I shouLd challenge myself!
Have a good day ahead:)
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Marianne Wahl-Larsen said:
I agree with the previous comments, Sabah. And to me, the phrase “brothers few” adds a feeling of indifference to anything but the screens. It´s like: Who even cares how many brothers are around? 🙂
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SabahBatul. said:
Yes…I am happy you got that:)
Thank you for reading it:)
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IshmaImroz said:
Wow this one is so the reality!
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SabahBatul. said:
Yes,it is.The ugly truth!
Thank you for taking the time to read it:)
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poeticmeaning said:
Really connected with this haiku. Really good poem 🙂 So nice to meet new bloggers. Excited to read more\
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SabahBatul. said:
Thank you for that!
Nice to meet you too.I am excited too 🙂
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Mon ☠ said:
That was a great start for your first haiku! 😀
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SabahBatul. said:
Thank you so much,for taking the time to read it, and your kind words:)
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Karthik said:
We are so close to them – yet so far
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SabahBatul. said:
Yes…A wall build by black screens,between us and them.
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