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I have been down this road before.
And it was full of pain and anger,
I was all alone.
But I still chose to walk again,
Because it’s you this time.
I look in your eyes,and everything is fine,
the pain disappears.
Suddenly I am not lonely.
Suddenly,the constant self doubt is silenced.
I get me! Maybe because you do!
You helped me find my way.
And we start walking together.

We walk for a while.
It is very quiet and calm.
And I am happy .
Like I am listening to my favorite song on repeat!
We reach a cross point.
But here,
u let go of my hand.
While I still smile.
Happy from the mile,we walked together..
And I can still feel the warmth of your hand holding mine.
Even though you decided to let go,
and I look at you confused and lost..
The same look I had on my face when I let u in my life.
and you have tears in ur eyes.
and silence on ur lips..
and you walk away.
walk away form me…walk away from us.
walk away from our eternal love.
I don’t understand why..but I maintain the silence as well.
It’s like a nightmare where we both don’t speak.
Maybe it’s our ego’s..or the fire burnt out.
I don’t know.
it makes no sense to me!
But I don’t say a word.

Each touch,
Each kiss,
Another goodbye,
A faithful cry,
that’s what love is all about?!
And then,when
I look around.
I am standing on the same road again.
The same hurt,the same abhor to feeling anything!
And still no answer from you..
And I am back to square one.
and I am all alone..
But this time it all feels different.
The pain is more.
The trust is broken to more pieces than it did last time.
I believe less and less in the possibility of love.
I am more cynical.
The sun rises less now.
And I am more lonely than ever.
And the silence is more unbearable than last time.
The tears hurt more than they did last time.
And I have lost a bit of me.
A bit I can never regain.
I take more time to pick myself up..
I miss u more than I did last time..
I need you more than I did last time..
I am more of a mess than last time.
and again..and again..
I don’t know how,
I come back to this point..Where,
I am all alone.

-Sabah Batul.

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