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Day 8 with Writing 201.Word-Flavour.Form-Elegy.Device-Enumeratio.
I am not sure about this poem.But this is me trying.My interpretation of the word flavour.Tell me what you think….:)
Death,my angel.Take me away!
I have lived a long life,
Seen it all.Statue of liberty,Eiffel tower,Mona Lisa,garden park,the mall.
So come death,my angel.
Take me away!
Twenty years were long enough to live on earth,
now I want to taste the fire of hell.
I have flipped the coin,into the wishing well.
Make my wish true!
Come on Death,my angel.Take me to hell.
Long labour days,
Fulfilling nights.
Dinner parties,charities,first of may.
I have fought all of the fights.
Been there,done all that.
Come on Death,my angel.Take me away stat!
Now Hopes have drowned,
Mistakes made,apologies arrived.
Thank you notes written.
I wrote my will.
So death,my angel.Take my soul.
Make my body still.
I have no words left to say,
No love to give,
Tried life here,
Wasn’t the flavour I liked.
Take me to the eternal life,
Steal me away in the night.
Do it now,
right away!
Give me your hand,pull me away from the pain.
Nothing left here to wait,
May today on my tombstone,marked as the date.
That Death,my angel.
Took me away.
The end of what many call life.
End of my strife.
If you don’t come,I will have to summon you.
I have options,Magic,Dark arts,Suicide.
Come soon,hurry if you must.
But,come Death,my angel.
Take me away!
-Sabah Batul.
ryanbestre said:
Hmm, this is a bit dark. What made you write this?
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SabahBatul. said:
Been facing a few problems.Thought I would let the steam out this way…
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ryanbestre said:
Hope you feel better. 🙂
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SabahBatul. said:
I already do! Thank you)
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ranu802 said:
WOW! Sabah! This is wonderful, although it sounds a bit sad, but when I think of it, it’s not so, you have seen,done everything you had to,now you are or your poem is ready to go to the other side to see what more you can add.
It’s wonderful. 🙂
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SabahBatul. said:
Thank you ranu…This is a very optimistic look on the poem.I really appreciate it.It made my day! 😀
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nyonglema said:
Hmm, I like the way you think…I’s about to type how dark and creepy for anybody to think this way…
But don’t take your life Sabah! You still got lots of words to say!
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SabahBatul. said:
Than you..No i do not plan on doing so.Thank you for your consent.I wrote it to let it all out!!…And felt much better when I did 🙂
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IshmaImroz said:
wow the pain in this is soo visible! Sabah!
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SabahBatul. said:
Thank you…:)
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IshmaImroz said:
🙂 U have a mail!
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SabahBatul. said:
ok:)
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IshmaImroz said:
hehe… Love you loads lady?!! take care! :*
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SabahBatul. said:
Thank you…will do! 🙂
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IshmaImroz said:
😀
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jacquelineobyikocha said:
Now young lady, I know about pain and this screams hurt and confused in very loud volumes. I hope that since you have written it, you will let go of the emotions and forge on with positive thoughts. Each side of our brain has the dark and the light and sometimes darkness seeps through, which is a good thing to let the caged one out now and again. A captivating, purging and highly emotive article! Brilliantly twisted!
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SabahBatul. said:
Thank you jacqueline…Yes I am trying to let go of them..And am feeling a lot better than I did before.Thank you so much for your consent and kind words! 🙂
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jacquelineobyikocha said:
You are welcome dear Sabah 🙂
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SabahBatul. said:
🙂 🙂
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impossiblebebong said:
When I was eight years old, standing on the breakwater my father built single-handedly, I realized for the first time that this world has nothing to offer to me. I’ve been there, done that, I told myself. It never changed since then, though I had some moments of pleasures.
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SabahBatul. said:
That is really sad…thank you for sharing your thoughts with me…
Only when you feel hopeless,u feel been there,done that.But that is never true!So much more to see!! I hope you can see that one day:)
Have a good day ahead….
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impossiblebebong said:
I am running out of time.
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SabahBatul. said:
I hope God gives you strength to walk through this tough journey.And you find hope and happiness in life! Hang in there!!! God bless you:)
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impossiblebebong said:
Thank you for the encouragement. It means a lot.
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SabahBatul. said:
Your welcome..anytime.!.If you need anything please don’t hesitate to talk to me 🙂
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impossiblebebong said:
I’ll keep that in mind. Have a wonderful day ahead.
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SabahBatul. said:
Thank you,same to you 🙂
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doctorjha2014 said:
Poetic suicide note 🙂 treading a dark path. I hoped some encore in the end to balance the darkness, but probably you wanted it so. At the end, its writer’s call. Great flow!
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SabahBatul. said:
Thank you…Didn’t really see a happy ending this this one.Thank you for your kind words!! 🙂
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MindandLifeMatters said:
Wow….this is intense! And a bit on the darker side. I hope you found relief by writing this and letting the steam off!
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SabahBatul. said:
I did…It was very helpful! Thank you:)
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MindandLifeMatters said:
Glad to know that! Take care!
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SabahBatul. said:
🙂
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Kathy said:
Wow, great poem – very vivid. I have wished for the death Angel to take me too, at age 15, age 18, age 23, age 30, but I am so glad I am still here. I hope writing this helped you feel better. You are very talented. I wouldn’t want to see the death Angel take you away. Hugs.
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SabahBatul. said:
Thank you,that is really sweet.And yes I felt better…Hugs ❤ 🙂
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Beparvah !! said:
its an wonderful expression of emotions,
every word carries truth, which often is dark,
i went trough a journey while reading
god bless you !!!
beparvah !!
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SabahBatul. said:
Thank you,I am glad you liked it! You too 🙂
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Beparvah !! said:
you are welcome !!
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SabahBatul. said:
🙂
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Kathy said:
Adding another comment. I’ve nominated you for the One Lovely Blog award: https://peace4me521.wordpress.com/2015/10/15/one-lovely-blog-award-2/
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SabahBatul. said:
Thank you so much Kathy!!!…I really appreciate it 😀
Glad to have met you here 🙂
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Kathy said:
I feel the same. It’s so nice to have met you through this course.
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SabahBatul. said:
The feeling is mutual! 🙂
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ranu802 said:
Thank you for stopping by, Sabah. 🙂
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SabahBatul. said:
🙂 🙂
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ranu802 said:
Thank you Sabah. 🙂
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SabahBatul. said:
🙂 🙂
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amanpan said:
Beautiful and intriguing. If expressing yourself through your writing eases the pain, then let the words flow. There will be light at the end of the tunnel. 🌷🌷🌷
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SabahBatul. said:
Yes,there is! Thank you for reading it and leaving a comment behind.I appreciate it 🙂
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